I’ve met up with some old friends and we chatted over dessert at a cafe late nite.
My friend asked me, “So u and ur gf always go where?”
I answered, “Hmmm… interesting places lor, like HSBC treetop walk, science centre, marina barrage… yar we enjoy these kind of outings.”
He said, “Yar yar, last time me and my wife too, go zoo, so sweet. My wife even prepare sandwiches and stuff. Explore cooking receipes like season & fry mushroom… We even waited half an hour for bus to go tanjong rhu to enjoy the scenery…”
Sweet rite?
Then he goes, “Aiya, starting everyone like that one lar. Now dun have lor. Sometimes ask her to go downstairs and walk walk, she said she lazy…”
All of us laugh, i think laugh at ourselves bah… Haha.
Anyway, this sets me to think – wat has changed?
Deteriorating love? Passion? Change in priority? Getting used to each other’s company? Change of interest? Nothing more to explore in each other?
My thoughts: All factors are likely contributory, except deteriorating love. Love is even stronger than before (i knew them).
How abt u? Sets u thinking as well…
girl – let me jump in with my tots okie? beginning is always sweet & nice but the key is to maintain. r u still willing to bring me to HSBC after 2 yrs? 5 yrs? priority might be shifted to kids (or dogs, tv, cars…) i felt there is always things to explore, room for growth as individual/ as couple.. the big question lies is willingness / committment/ effort / love / time / appreciation … maybe 10 yrs down the road, u prefer to hang out with a young sweet thing rather den a old naggy wife ! 😉 wait til i’m 32, i will ask u to bring me to hsbc, i will wake up at 4.30am, i will prepare food aid for you, but are you willing to bring me there?!
Guy: This gonna be quite long. I think as we move on in life, we tend to focus on something else. Previously my focus was on my new car, as mentioned, i wanted to modify here and there, satisfy my itchy kaching… Now my focus is on girl, pamper her, dote her. Haven’t wash the car for 2 weeks, modification ideas all shelved. I think human focus is quite narrow, once u ‘into’ something, all else becomes secondary. Once u attained ur goals, u move on to another goal. Once u get married, u move on to focus on career, finances, baby, car, houses and etc, like wat girl said. But shifting focus is not equal to deteriorating love. Love can be strong or even stronger, but special moments are lesser. Maybe its because ur partner has integrated into ur life.
There’s once a pastor said “Love is commitment”. (btw its a non-religious statement)
Commitment is a pledge / promise / obligation / bounded emotionally. Enjoying being love by a person, u need not give commitment. To really love a person, u will give commitment to her/him. But is commitment equals to consistent outings to zoo and tanjong rhu?? Or is there another way of showing commitment??
I always enjoy listening to pple’s life experiences and stories, it sets me thinking abt things that might happen in my life. Seeing the problem and look at wat when wrong, or seeing the happiness and look at wat went right. Its better to learn it this way than learning it in the hard way by experiencing it ourself.
There’s so much in life for us to explore, not only in others, but ourselves too. That’s wat makes life so interesting. But wat i can say is that: i will bring girl to HSBC treetop walk again for sure. Sunrise? As long as u r willing to wake up at 4:30am, i’ll be there. (sweet! cya in 5 yrs) We’re the ‘evil’ twins.
I think all these somehow links to Girl’s 6 partner analysing questions. Maybe we’ll post it here in future. Thank u for reading this highest word count posting ever!
girl – ah.. this is why i choose him..or rather why i accept him. no conclusion entry, u r free to agree or disagree. it open-eneded.
Guy: Add-on a few tots. I watched a chinese tv program juz now and they discuss about life before and after marriage. A wife commented that before marriage, there’s a lot of passion in the r/s, everyday is like ‘in-love’. After marriage there isn’t much passion left, the focus is all on the baby. But its not love had deteriorated, but she felt that they have moved to the next stage of life, her husband and herself see each other as a family. Lover to Family = Greater Love? Think about it….
