3 weeks of roller-coaster, I was either trying to live life as normal, be strong, be happy or I was sulking and lotsa little crying session by myself.
Everybody say its just a common surgery but its normal to be scare and worried right?
Went for a 2nd opinion and was diagnosed with endometriosis. I have most /all the symptoms but no red flag. Heavy menstruation, I thought it’s normal. Cramp, I thought its normal too. Tired, which working adults has enough sleep.. anyway, the surgery is fixed on 6 September.
Cancel HK trip with Jen. I really wanted to go, she’s disappointed, so am i. But health is more important, beside my family won’t allow me to go.. I am so glad that her fiancé managed to substitute me.
I really needed a break, to sit at the beach and do nothing but i can’t. The responsible little me know that I am going to be on 1 month hospitalisation leave, so I shouldn’t take any more leave. But the other side of me is dying from pretending to be normal.
This is just a common surgery yet I wasn’t allow to do what I wanted to do.. why is it so hard? What if someday, i caught something more serious than cysts and there isn’t any chance to do the simple things that I want?
Vin & I went for a pre-plan trip to Avani resort in Malaysia. Sitting at the balcony looking at the sea. The microlight flight was awesome. I learnt a couple of things when I was flying, 1) dreams do come true (2) be brave and go for the surgery ! There are more adventures ahead of me
I was also thinking about being a mum. why is it so easy for others to become a mum but my journey is so difficult? Maybe whoever up there knows that I am not 100% ready to be a mum and this is one of the tests. Being a mum scare me.. how to be a good parent? How to be responsible? The sacrifices, the time etc etc
Had a huge fight with vin 2 days before the surgery. Our biggest fight.. his work and me. We are okie now. Seeking the balance is not easy.
One of the happiest moments was Sentosa and cycling. A trip to the beach !! vin promised to bring me back to the beach when I recover *tears*
Will blog again about 6 September !
– G